Who is TheeRealJoy? part 3 - My Sweet Spot
So I'm standing there with my suitcase. I'm knocking on the door, and she comes to the door. And she's like, hey, Ev. And I'm like, hey. And she's like, come on in.
TheeRealJoy:And I I could see her looking at my suitcase. But it was always this feeling of, like, acceptance. Like, you could tell she was caught off guard, but it was okay. Like and Jamie has that spirit of, like, you could be in the midst of, like, she could you could be mad. You could be upset.
TheeRealJoy:And and she's like, nope. It's okay. We're fine. Everything's okay. We're fine.
TheeRealJoy:So I remember her showing me to her son's room, and he had these cute little bunk beds. They can have, like, Spider Man sheets, and I've never been so happy to see, like, Spider Man sheets in my life. So I was like, oh my gosh, a bed, like, for me, like, I could clearly see it was bunk beds. I'm like, oh my gosh. I'm gonna have a bed.
TheeRealJoy:And I remember, like, shoving my suitcase in this corner. And like, okay. Like, nobody's gonna see it. Like, it's just like in this corner, like, put to the side. And it was like there was no transition.
TheeRealJoy:There was no, like, hey. Ev's gonna be staying here with us. It was like, I'm home. Like, the kids just, like, opened their arms. Like, everybody, her husband, like, I never remember feeling like I'm imposing on their family.
TheeRealJoy:Oh my gosh. Like, I think I was, like, more nervous at first than they were. Like, they were just like, come on. Like, sit on the couch. Like, what you wanna watch?
TheeRealJoy:Like, what you wanna do? So let's do a quick time check. So this was 2019, the Christmas time, Christmas time of 2019. So this journey started at the end of 2018. So mom passed at 2018.
TheeRealJoy:Now we're at the end of 2019. So So this has been a full year of transition. We've been to Rhode Island. We've been to DC. We've been to New York.
TheeRealJoy:Like, this is we've been to Massachusetts. So this was such a year of, like, okay. And now we're here. And I think I say all that to say, it doesn't matter where you're at. It matters the people who you're around and feeling that love.
TheeRealJoy:Like, sometimes people don't need your money. They don't need your resources. They they need your love. They need your to feel accepted. And it's so funny because we always used to talk about it took me 4 months being at Jamie's house.
TheeRealJoy:And I remember I was starting to look through apartments on my phone, and she's like, what are you doing? I'm like, I'm looking for apartments. She's like, why? I'm like, I have to move. Like, what do you mean?
TheeRealJoy:And she's like, no. You don't. You're fine. And at that time, I had got my daughter back. She was there with me because it was that love.
TheeRealJoy:It was that acceptance. Like, of course, she can come. So it was just such a different feel, and it was so funny. Because like I said, as I was looking for a place, she would go with me. She's like, okay.
TheeRealJoy:I'm coming to see this place with you. And she'd be like, nope. I don't like it. Come on. Thank the realtor for coming, but you're not moving here.
TheeRealJoy:And I'll be like, oh, okay. And she was like, okay. I know you really wanna move, so I I I she has such, like, this protection over me. That was so cute. But I say all that to say, we always talk about people think that she gave me all this money or, like, she invested in me.
TheeRealJoy:She was like, no. I just did not pay her rent for staying with me. I enjoyed her being there because Jamie will tell you, I cooked every meal. I cleaned. Like, I I think that that was such a moment for me to serve.
TheeRealJoy:Like, I was just there in any way I could serve them. Can I babysit? Can I cook? Can I clean? I will do not anything, but you just wanna show your gratitude and appreciation for someone literally opening up their home to you.
TheeRealJoy:So we had some good times. I think I'm gonna try to incorporate some videos and clips of, like we used to have, like, dance parties and, like, different stuff like that. So I'll definitely try to get that so you guys can see it. But during that time, let's talk about how I basically, my career path. So when I first moved here, I didn't have a job.
TheeRealJoy:Right? So we were like, okay. Retail is the easiest thing to get into. I came from a sales background. I knew that my resume was stacked.
TheeRealJoy:I was like, I'm going to start where I could start. I had no shame. I was applying at Dollar Tree. I was applying at Family Dollar. I was applying anywhere and everywhere I could.
TheeRealJoy:So I remember I was talking to Jamie. We were in her we were in her living room, and she was saying, oh, I think I'm gonna take this makeup class. I think I'm gonna get into makeup. And I was like, yeah. That would be cool.
TheeRealJoy:I was like, why don't we make a plan? I'll try to work at Ulta, and we can I can get at Ulta? We can get some makeup, you know, on discount, and we can get into makeup. She was like, yeah. Okay.
TheeRealJoy:Cool. Something about that makeup sparked. Like, from that moment on, I never watched regular TV. I would go on YouTube, and I would watch tutorials of people doing people's makeup. Like, that's all I watch.
TheeRealJoy:In my spare time, on my phone, I would just, like that's all I could basically watch, like, nothing else. I wasn't even on social media like that. Like, it was literally just like makeup, makeup, makeup. I remember going into Ulta, and my makeup bag is funny. I wanna show you guys what my makeup looks like now versus what I had then.
TheeRealJoy:I had, like, this little travel set, and I think I had a concealer, a mascara, a eyeliner, and, like, a little eye shadow palette. And I remember, I'm like, I'm gonna go to Ulta. I'm gonna do my face. So I'm in the mirror. I'm like, I'm gonna look cute.
TheeRealJoy:I'm gonna go in there. I had, like, a little head wrap on with, braids, and I'm like, I'm gonna go in there. I'm gonna ask for a job. So I, like, put my outfit on. I do my little makeup.
TheeRealJoy:I'm like, okay. And I remember walking through the door, and this guy is there. He's like, oh my gosh. You're so pretty. And I'm like, I am?
TheeRealJoy:Like, really? Like, I did good. And he's like, hey. Like, how are you? And I'm like, I applied here.
TheeRealJoy:Can you, like, pull my, resume? Like and I'm, like, talking to him. He's like, oh, yeah. I was like, let me go pull it. So we're, like, just talking in the front.
TheeRealJoy:He's like, okay. Come back. Let's say this is, like, a Wednesday. He was like, come back next Tuesday for an interview. I'm like, okay.
TheeRealJoy:So I'm like, yes. I got this. Like, cool. I go to the interview. I nailed it.
TheeRealJoy:I applied to be just like a cashier. He was like, okay. So you can be a cashier. I think they called her a beauty adviser at the time. He's like, but I really wanna get you into prestige where you sell, like, the high end stuff, and, like, we really wanna just put you on the floor.
TheeRealJoy:I'm like, okay. Cool. I got it. So I remember going in my first day, and I'm, like, at the counter. I still have to do some type of thing with the register.
TheeRealJoy:And I had a earpiece in my ear, and I'm at the counter, and he's like, hey. Can you come to the back really quick? Now this is an hour into my shift. I'm like, oh, like, this is too good to be true. What happened?
TheeRealJoy:Did I give somebody the wrong change? Like, what is this man about to say to me? Like, okay. And I remember sitting down in the office, and once again, that anxiety is starting to go. And he was like, I know that you have a background in management.
TheeRealJoy:Like, would you be interested in being a manager? I'm like, This is my first day. I've only worked an hour. He's like, oh, your resume and what we've seen is enough. There's an opening.
TheeRealJoy:It's gonna be in Guilford. They're looking for a retail sales manager. This is the pay. This is when the, interview is, and we want you to go. I'm like, okay.
TheeRealJoy:That works. I remember going to the interview. The general manager there loving me. Like, we I remembered her being like, okay. We need to, like, stay on track for, like, this interview because we're getting off track.
TheeRealJoy:So we're talking, offers me the job on the spot. I'm like, woah. Really? She's like, yeah. Like, I loved you.
TheeRealJoy:Like, whatever. And that quick is how I kinda got into my Ulta life, my makeup. I mean, everything at Ulta was such a I would say I was, like, on this crash course. Like like I said, my little makeup bag only was, like, this big. We would get free products where they want us to test out things.
TheeRealJoy:They called it gratis. So we have to watch a video on a product, and then they would give it to us. I'm like, oh, this is sweet. Okay. Cool.
TheeRealJoy:So I'm, like, building my kit. I'm, like, playing around with stuff. I'm actually learning from customers. So like I said, I didn't know much about makeup. I'm watching these YouTube videos, but I'm I'm able to now connect with makeup artists.
TheeRealJoy:I'm asking them what's their favorite brands when they come in. All the things they should have been asking me, I'm asking them. But I'm just learning, and I'm just, like, getting all this knowledge. And when I say makeup became, like, my getaway, like, I would literally now I'm still at Jamie's house. I have her son's room.
TheeRealJoy:We're, like, sharing these bunk beds. And I remember one day he came home, and I had, like, found some flowers at Dollar Tree. And I had, like, little pushpins, and I, like, put them on the wall. And I'm, like, have my camera, like, propped up on the bed to the point where it's, like, just about to fall, but, like, not fall. And I'm doing a tutorial on how to make freckles.
TheeRealJoy:And he, like, walks in, and he's like, what did you do to my room? And I'm like, oh, I'm just making a video. He's like, no. I like it. Like, good job.
TheeRealJoy:Like and I remember, like, all the kids, my daughter, him and her daughter, would just sit there and watch me for hours, like, record these YouTube videos and watch me. And they were, like, my it's so funny because we would, like, all be sitting in a living room and he would be in the corner on his iPad, like, watching my YouTube video. And I would be like and it's so funny because they were so little. Like, I think he was, like, 6 or 7 at the time. But they motivated me to keep going.
TheeRealJoy:And like I said, I don't know why at that time. What told me, oh, you're gonna be I never wanted to be a content creator. That's the funny part. Like, in that moment, I wasn't saying, I'm gonna be this huge content creator. I did not know.
TheeRealJoy:It was just what I've what I found joy in doing, honestly. It was just, like, kinda like how I write in the journal. That was just me expressing myself. So that was just such a monumental moment for me. Ulta definitely led me to do other things.
TheeRealJoy:After I left Ulta, I ended up being a general manager, a podcast host, and a stylist for a black owned bridal company. And that was interesting because I started out just being a stylist there, and over time, I got promoted to being a manager there. So I would say that that was a point of time where I realized that I had more skill than I was giving myself credit for. And I could realize that I was allowing someone to use these skills, and I wasn't getting paid for it. So I was being a podcast host for free.
TheeRealJoy:I was being a stylist, a general manager of a store. I was being an assistant to alterations. I had to take private appointments. I had to also be the janitor of the place, so I had to clean this place. And I just remember feeling so empty, like, something that I once loved.
TheeRealJoy:I remember just feeling so depleted. And my health actually took a turn for the worst. I started getting really bad pains and ended up being sciatica. And I will never forget the day I quit. About 2 weeks ago, 2 weeks prior to the day I quit, I called the owner and I was like, I literally cannot walk.
TheeRealJoy:I'm crawling on the ground. I need you to come help me with appointments. And she promised me the world. She's like, yes. I'm gonna come.
TheeRealJoy:Don't worry. I know that you're, you know, you're really hurting right now and that you can't take clients. And I remember people just coming in, and I had to do 2 appointments at one time. And I'm carrying these heavy bridal dresses. And in my head, I'm like, you gotta go.
TheeRealJoy:Like, you have to go. And I didn't have anything to do. I didn't leave knowing I was gonna be an entrepreneur. I didn't leave knowing that I was gonna open my own business. But I remember telling myself, if I'm running this woman's business, if I'm doing everything for her, she never comes here.
TheeRealJoy:She comes here to say hi, and, clearly, I'm keeping the place afloat. Clearly, I'm keeping money coming. They're thanking me for doing all these things. Why can't I put this energy into my own, my own business, my my own podcast, my own, like, creativity? Like, I was, I was also a, social media manager for them.
TheeRealJoy:So I'm making the content for them. I'm posting it. I'm like, wait a minute. What am I doing? So I remember with so much confidence in me being like, I'm done.
TheeRealJoy:And they were like, you're leaving? I said, absolutely, I'm leaving. And I remember leaving there. I wasn't afraid. I wasn't scared.
TheeRealJoy:I was just like, this is enough. I can't do it. I will never allow someone to deplete me the way that this woman had depleted me. And that was literally me walking into being an entrepreneur without me even I didn't have a plan written down. I won't even lie.
TheeRealJoy:People say, oh, write this I didn't have a plan. So I remember going home, and I'm like, I'm gonna go on TikTok live. I'm gonna be this content creator. I'm gonna put my foot to the pavement. I'm gonna go.
TheeRealJoy:So at the same time, Jamie had took a Sisterlocks class back, I think even before the pandemic. She had took it, and she was, like, taking clients here and there. But during the pandemic, her business blew up because everybody was at home and the hairdressers, they were closed. Nobody was taking appointments, And they were like, I'm getting sisterlocks. Like, I have to lock my hair.
TheeRealJoy:I don't know what to do with it. Like, this is crazy. So when I say her business grew overnight, it grew overnight. So I remember during the pandemic, because her loctician was closed, she handed me her tool, and she was like, figure out how to do my hair, please. I don't know how to explain it to you, but you just interlock it and keep going until it's tight.
TheeRealJoy:I'm like, what? I never even heard of sisterlocks. Now you want me to retighten your sisterlocks and you trust me? I'm like, okay. So first of all, Jamie thinks I could do anything and everything in life.
TheeRealJoy:Like, that's her thing. She was like, oh, Ebony could do that. She'll sign me up for anything. Like, oh, you need somebody to paint the wall? Go get Ebony.
TheeRealJoy:She can do it. Like, that woman has so much faith in me. She's just like, oh, yeah. She could do it. So I'm like, okay.
TheeRealJoy:Don't let her down because she has a lot of faith in you. She's a loctician, and she's telling me to do her hair. Okay? So I remember taking the tool, and I hated it. I hated it.
TheeRealJoy:Her locks are so small. I call them the OG sister locks. They don't even do them that small anymore because it's insane. It's so small. And I remember being like, and she wants me to retighten all these locks on her head.
TheeRealJoy:Not just the part, not the middle part, not the crown, not the all of them. And I'm like, okay. But you can't let her down. You can't say no. So I did it.
TheeRealJoy:And it took me I remember I would do, like, 8 to 10 locks. But, okay, can I take a break? I'll do it again tomorrow. Like, I just could not do it, but I didn't wanna tell her that. I didn't wanna let her down.
TheeRealJoy:So I started doing her retightenings during that time, and I learned, they didn't bother me so much. So I was like, okay. Cool. So also during that time, before she really took off, she was like, I need to practice doing locks on someone's hair. Can I do it on your hair?
TheeRealJoy:I'm like, sure. She's like, you want sisterlocks? I'm like, sure. No problem. So I did have sisterlocks.
TheeRealJoy:That was my first install. Altogether, I had 3 installs. We don't talk about it because it triggers her. I've had 3 installs of sisterlocks. I still do have locks, but I just wear wigs sometimes because I'm still a wig girly.
TheeRealJoy:I have not made the commitment fully. But I remember her installing them in my hair, and I'm like, okay. Cool. But I'm thinking there I still didn't think of the commitment process to it. I'm just like, okay.
TheeRealJoy:It's a hairstyle. I remember I got COVID, y'all, real quick. I got COVID, and I was in the house quarantined for 2 weeks. I did not make it out of that quarantine with locks in my hair. I took them out.
TheeRealJoy:And I remember I came out of the quarantine, and she's just like, what happened? I'm like, the locks had to go. I'm sorry. But I remember her reaching out to me in that moment where I quit. And she was like, listen.
TheeRealJoy:I need help. My business is overflowing to capacity. Like, I can't take anyone else. She She ended up she was working full time and being a loctician at that time, but she had to let go of her full time job because it was happening, like, overnight for her. So I remember her we had this conversation.
TheeRealJoy:She was like, I need you to take on clients for me. And I'm like, okay. This is that thing that I really don't like that much, but Jamie needs me, so I got it. So I remember my first client, She came to me. I was working out of Jamie's studio, and she's like, okay.
TheeRealJoy:This is a quick client. It usually takes me, like, 3 to 4 hours to do it, so you got it. Like, okay. I got it. Cool.
TheeRealJoy:I felt so bad because this is I call her my OG client. She still comes to me. Thank god. She had faith in me to give me some time to get it together. Today, I will say it only takes me 2 and a half hours to do her hair, so we've come a long way.
TheeRealJoy:But that first day, she had a birthday party to go to, and I keep from I remember her phone kept ringing. They were like, where are you? Like, the party. And she's like, I'll be there. I'll be there.
TheeRealJoy:And every time her phone rang, my heart would just beep beep beep because she's going off of the time that Jamie does her hair. She was my first person. I don't know if Jamie told her that she was my first person. So she has somewhere to be, and it was up to me to get her there. When I tell you, we barely made it.
TheeRealJoy:I think she probably caught, like, a hour of that birthday party messing with me and Jamie. But it was so cool to see my growth. I think altogether that day, it may took me, like, 5 to 6 hours to do her hair. But I started being really intrigued on seeing the growth and, like, my time and my speed increase. I'm okay.
TheeRealJoy:Okay. Cool. So I kinda, like, say I fell into entrepreneurship because Jamie cracked the door for me. I was like, okay. And I remember I had 1 client, and then I had 4 clients, and then I had 10.
TheeRealJoy:And then she I was like, okay. Now I need my own studio because we're conflicting with each with each other's times. And then I remember getting so confident, like, oh, I could do an install. And, I mean, it literally just took off. I think I've been doing locks now for going into this year would be 2 years.
TheeRealJoy:And my clientele, god, I I when I say this sometimes, I can't believe it. I'm over a 125 clients. So that just shows the power of consistency, the power of someone giving you the torch and you running with it, alongside of me doing makeup as well. So I always tell people, the locks pay the bills. The makeup is my passion.
TheeRealJoy:I do wanna get to the point where the makeup is also paying the bills too, but those slots for those appointments will be taken up by locks for now, because it pays the bills. And I do have a passion for it. I do love it because I get to connect with people, and I get to talk to people. And I think that, like I said, that's always gonna be a passion of mine. That's always gonna fuel me.
TheeRealJoy:So no matter what I'm doing, as long as I'm connecting with people and talking to them, I can make the best of it. So I love my clients. I love y'all locks. I love y'all down. So but yeah.
TheeRealJoy:So that's kinda how I got into, like, entrepreneurship and, you know, really going into my own lane, and I love it. I now have my own studio right here in Hamden, Connecticut, which is like a half beauty studio for my makeup and then, like, half loctician hair. You know, we do it all. It's also like a therapy session. Like, you know, I'm, like, doing my counseling.
TheeRealJoy:You know? We have our sessions. We cry. We laugh. We do it all.
TheeRealJoy:So, yeah, Connecticut is my sweet spot. And now y'all see why I say Connecticut is my sweet spot because I came here. I was a manager overnight, opened up my own business. I clearly, I'm not homeless, and I have my own beauty studio. So I went from homeless to, like, having 2 spaces, like, a home and a beauty studio.
TheeRealJoy:So that's why we gotta keep going. Like, that's why my you will always see hashtag keep going because that consistency pays off, that healing pays off, that inspiration, that motivation, like, having that fire. No matter what it looks like, no matter I don't care if you're sitting in a cardboard box. You have to know I will not always be in this box. And that's why I'm here with y'all right now.
TheeRealJoy:Thank you so much for tuning in to the Real Joy podcast. I hope today's conversation brought you closer to finding your own joy and left you feeling inspired. Don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode. If you like what you heard, share it with your circle. It might be just the thing they need.
TheeRealJoy:Let's keep growing, glowing and finding joy together. Until next time. Take care of yourself and remember to keep it relaxed, relatable and real. See you soon.
