Thee Real Joy Podcast

00;00;01;22 - 00;00;21;18
Unknown
Yeah. Welcome back to the read Joy podcast. Today I have with me, Chloe, and we will get into why Chloe is here, who she is. And one moment. But right now we're going to get into this general prompt. I hope you have your journal by now. If you don't, what are you doing? I keep telling you all you got to like you need this.

00;00;21;21 - 00;00;49;28
Unknown
You need to heal. We're healing all year. Like this is the year of healing. I'm gonna get you a journal, too. I might send you. Yeah. You can. Okay. But you. Exactly. Yes. So today's journal. Part of what? Limiting beliefs hold me back of the most. For me, my most limiting, limiting thing that holds me back. I don't even know if I'm saying that right.

00;00;50;00 - 00;01;13;08
Unknown
But the thing that holds me back the most is the fear of failure. And like, well, there's so many people that are doing this. What if I like what if I do it in the feels? Yeah, but it's like I'm learning. Just do it anyway. Because no matter what, if you fail, if A succeeds, who's losing. Who's you know.

00;01;13;11 - 00;01;36;07
Unknown
So yeah I like that one. I feel like for me kind of like what you, I thought you were about to say. But for me I'll see something and it'll look like oversaturated like the market is oversaturated. Right. Like when people bring up podcast or like, it's like a joke that comes on. Everybody got a podcast. I hear, like, we tried to take mics from being purchased.

00;01;36;07 - 00;01;52;27
Unknown
Like everybody just want to have a podcast. And I think when I hear stuff like that, it can be like a little like, yeah, like, oh, that's like, I feel like, but I have to remember, like what was given to me and my purpose. My vision. Yeah. My dream. And like, it was given to me for a reason.

00;01;52;29 - 00;02;15;11
Unknown
And I can't ignore it. It haunts me and freak about it every, you know what I mean? And I was like, okay, I just need to, like, do it. So I think that was a limiting belief, and I won't lie. Still, I'll get like a glimpse of it if I feel like what's going to make my podcast better because there's so many, it's going to get lost in podcast land, you know?

00;02;15;11 - 00;02;35;23
Unknown
So but I keep pushing myself and I know that, you know, there's a lane for everybody. There's an audience for everybody. So I try not to get lost in that, but I want the audience to also answer these prompts as well, whether you have a journal or whether you don't have a journal. I want you to leave it in the comments.

00;02;35;23 - 00;02;55;27
Unknown
Whether you're watching on YouTube, whether you're listening on the podcast, out wherever you watch or listen to the podcast, start leaving. You know what your answer is in the comments, and we can start that conversation. So and then hold it right there, right.

00;02;56;00 - 00;03;08;08
Unknown
Put your glasses on too. Now he's and is and is hiding. Is hiding. Yeah. This in.

00;03;12;21 - 00;03;19;03
Unknown
This video. Yeah. I can see him.

00;03;19;06 - 00;03;22;19
Unknown
Be good.

00;03;22;21 - 00;03;47;27
Unknown
Look, for that. Okay. All right. Ready? Yep. All right, so I'm going to have Chloe introduce herself and tell us who she is. How old you are, and then we'll kind of get into why I brought you here. Well, first I'll tell them. So I am Chloe. Like tissue. She is actually a transfer client of mine, so she was already inspired.

00;03;47;27 - 00;04;03;04
Unknown
And then she came to me, and I do her maintenance. Right when Chloe came to me, I feel like we just clicked. I just found out she's a Libra, so that makes so much sense. But we just clicked, like it was just super easy. And then we started talking. You know, every time you build that relationship.

00;04;03;07 - 00;04;26;29
Unknown
And the last time I did her hair, she was just kind of sharing with me some things in her life that she's not necessarily going through, but some changes and different things. And I was like, wait, how old are you? And then she was like, oh, 24 to 2222. And I was like, I said, I want to bring you on the podcast because a lot of times in our 20s, I feel like that's when things start to shift.

00;04;26;29 - 00;04;58;20
Unknown
Right. Like you're, I'm gonna let you talk and then we're going to get into it. So explain who you are. And my name is Chloe. I'm 22. Yeah. Yeah. I'm currently in school right now. My transition from my job is we'll talk about that, but. Yeah. What's your background? Do you have any hobbies? I do, I'm trying to find more hobbies because, last year actually got saved.

00;04;58;23 - 00;05;28;09
Unknown
So I've been my main hobby right now is just. I don't save the sanctified. Yeah. And, I'm trying to find new hobbies because my hobbies before involve the. Yeah, exactly. What's your new lifestyle? Exactly. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so I feel that now that it's warmer, maybe I'll find some, a little more, but do you have, like, community or do you feel like, of, like younger people that are, like, newly, say, like, are you, like trying to look for that?

00;05;28;09 - 00;05;56;04
Unknown
So right now I actually have a really good community with that because the church that I go to, we have a young adult ministry. So everybody that like I've really connected with, we've been like just getting closer and growing closer together. But Ella, malu, Ella, my community, that's my gang for who but like. Yeah. So what does life look like for you right now?

00;05;56;05 - 00;06;16;25
Unknown
Like, I know you say you're 22, you're transitioning. So at first you are working and in school at the same time, right? And then I think that's what we were talking about during your, appointment. You were saying how you had to kind of transition to be full time in school and kind of give up working. So how's that transition been?

00;06;16;26 - 00;06;42;18
Unknown
So it's been a rollercoaster, you know, because in like December, I felt like God was calling me out of my job, and I didn't understand at the time, but I just kept feeling like this next season I was entering was about to be like, super busy. Yeah. So I was like, okay, it's either I be obedient now or I, like, suffer the consequences.

00;06;42;18 - 00;07;04;11
Unknown
And because obviously this is not where God wants me to be right now. So I was obedient and I left my job. And then almost immediately after I left, I started getting really busy with ministry stuff. The classes that I'm in are like super hard. I'm taking pre-calc well, it's just my pre-calc class that's super hard. You know what I mean?

00;07;04;11 - 00;07;25;16
Unknown
Pre-Calc yeah, I can never, And I wouldn't suggest it. Yeah. But it's so that class takes up a lot of my time, and then I. I'm a part of serving the young adult ministry. And because my job hasn't been in the way, I've been able to say yes to a lot more things and not be burnt out.

00;07;25;18 - 00;07;49;13
Unknown
Because if I was trying to go to school and then after school, go to work and, and after work, go to my ministry. So yeah, yeah, I would have been two, two stretched out. God. Just more of your time. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. So. So what did you imagine your 20s to be? Right? Like, I feel like when you're, like, 16, 17, you can like, oh, I wanna be 20.

00;07;49;13 - 00;08;14;17
Unknown
I wanna do this. This is like. It's gonna be so great. How do you. So did you ever have, like, a vision of what your 20s was going to be? And then how do you think now, being in your 20s, how, like, were you let down when when I it's so when I was younger, I thought that I was going to be young and I thought I was going to be traveling everywhere, going this place, that place.

00;08;14;19 - 00;08;32;07
Unknown
And I thought, I thought my 20s were going to be a lot different. I was going to be living on my own. I was going to have a good job and doing all this. But I had like when I got when I turned 19, I realized that none of that was going to happen because how I roll it was I was coming to quit.

00;08;32;09 - 00;08;48;28
Unknown
Really? Think about it though. How how does that even work? Like if I would have went to a four year college, I would have been graduating college when I turned 21, I thought I was going to be living the luxury when I turned 21. Had the luxury, right? Like, where is this going to come in? We got to get some income up.

00;08;48;29 - 00;09;07;11
Unknown
Okay? Now we gotta get up, get a job. We gotta work that job. We gotta work our way up in that job, okay? Yes. We get through. Okay. So I know, like, in my 20s, I was just. So for some reason, I don't know why we think in our 20s, we're supposed to have it all figured out.

00;09;07;14 - 00;09;25;20
Unknown
I don't know where that came up at. I honestly like and then I got to my 30s right there. You hear people in their 40s, they hear it like I don't think there's a set time where we're supposed to have life figured out. There's not at all no life changes so much you can't figure it out. Yeah. There's things that are out of my control.

00;09;25;20 - 00;09;48;21
Unknown
Sometimes there's surprises. Sometimes you think you're supposed to go this path and God says, ha ha, just kidding. I want you on this path. So I think that if I could go back in my 20s, one of the things I would have wished I would have learned is how to be more adaptable. Right? Like how to, like, not spend so much time trying to have control over things.

00;09;48;21 - 00;10;07;28
Unknown
Like it's good to have a path but also adapt to new ideas. And you know, I love how you just say, oh, I'm saved now as I'm adapting to this new way of life. I think that that's what the 20s is really about. So I'm glad that it sounds like you are aligned with that and that you're able to just kind of like, okay, now I need to shift this way.

00;10;08;01 - 00;10;36;05
Unknown
And I'm getting so caught up in like the anger or like the mis understanding of the shift is going along with the shift. Yeah. So how would you describe the pressure of being a young woman today? I feel like it's it's more so of a pressure to be independent. Like me and some of my friends, we were talking about this yesterday.

00;10;36;05 - 00;11;00;20
Unknown
Like the independent woman thing is like, so, like, especially on young women in their 20s, it's like, okay, we want to be in control. Yeah. And we want to be able to do everything by ourself. And it's hard for us to accept that we can't and that we need help. But it's like. If we don't accept that we're going to burn out, you're gonna hinder yourself.

00;11;00;21 - 00;11;21;07
Unknown
Yeah. I had someone tell me, an older family member tell me if someone gets to a certain point in their life and they say that they did it with no help, then they're lying. They're like, they have to be. And I think that help looks different. Like sometimes it could just be supporting someone like it. It doesn't have to be financially.

00;11;21;07 - 00;11;41;14
Unknown
Could be giving that sound advice being that year. So I definitely think that being open to help is definitely something. Once again, if I could go back in my 20s, I would definitely and not be afraid to speak up. Yeah, and ask for help. Sometimes I think that we think people are just going to come to us. Yeah, you know what we're going to right?

00;11;41;20 - 00;11;58;29
Unknown
I don't see me struggling. You see me ever. It's like I never did. I didn't know I was struggling because you think you make hair done, you smile, you look okay. You're giggling. You're laughing. I didn't know it was there. Yeah. I didn't know you were fighting for your life. Nobody knew. You didn't tell us? No. And I think sometimes we got hard.

00;11;58;29 - 00;12;27;24
Unknown
But I didn't like. Like, nobody's helping me. Like, you know, where I'm like, what you didn't have straight up. And we didn't know your. I had no clue. So for you that social media affects your self-image or mental health or like your expectations of life, it used to because it was like I always was very insecure about my body type and the way my hair looked and the way that I looked.

00;12;27;24 - 00;12;50;01
Unknown
So it was like, and I was just seeing every like all these social media like, yeah, beauty weren't there. Yeah. And they all had a certain looks. Awesome. I got to look like that. But then I realized like, no, I'm, I'm who I am. And I was created like this for a purpose. Yeah. And I had to change my feed because it was, like, constantly.

00;12;50;01 - 00;13;10;03
Unknown
That was all I was seeing. And I'm like, why don't I look like that? Like, why can't I look like that? I was going to the gym to look like that instead of going to the gym to feel better. Yeah. So I remember having this conversation with my friend and, she's a plus. I was girly too. And she was complaining about not seeing people on her feet that looked like her.

00;13;10;03 - 00;13;31;10
Unknown
And I was like, oh, I can't relate because every influencer on my feet. Yeah, I don't know how it happened. I didn't do it on purpose. And I tell you, you bomb ass. Plus I get the cutest hair done, outfits, everything. And I'm like, I'm always inspired. Like, I feel like when I hear people talk about social media, for me, I find it, as a place of inspiration.

00;13;31;11 - 00;13;49;21
Unknown
Yeah. Like I'm like, oh, okay. I could did it. I could do it too. I'm like, okay, I feel okay, I'm okay. I'm not. I can't get that outfit. I'm right. I'm gonna get this inspiration. So I feel like it's all about mindset. Like, what is this social media? And I love that because usually when you ask somebody that question, they go right into the comparison.

00;13;49;21 - 00;14;08;23
Unknown
And I feel like I'm not good enough. So I'm glad that you are so young and that you already have overcame that you've already created your timeline to be exactly what you need it to be. So that's good. I don't think that people realize that we are in control of what we see on Instagram. Like the algorithm, the algorithm.

00;14;08;26 - 00;14;33;17
Unknown
Yeah, the algorithm depends on what you're liking and what you're talking about. Honestly, because I talk about something on my feed the next day, literally. Yeah. That's true. Yeah. Because like all I see on my like, even reals, it's like always like affirmations to other content creators talking about like how to do this and be like, it's always like funny and inspirational thing.

00;14;33;17 - 00;14;52;04
Unknown
So when I hear people talk, I'm like, what's that on Instagram? Are you all right? Because I let you say that. Yeah, I'm like, another good thing, right? Because that's not on my feet. So y'all need to take yeah, control and accountability for your Instagram. The things I was saying, like how did you come across this? Yeah.

00;14;52;04 - 00;15;14;14
Unknown
I'm like, oh, don't share that to me. I don't I don't want it. I really don't watch it at all of them. So I don't need my Instagram looking. No none like that. No please I can't be not. So what are some silent struggles that you feel like people in your generation. What generation are you. The middle gray area okay.

00;15;14;14 - 00;15;40;07
Unknown
The gray area is like what is it like generation Z and y x y z. So like it's hard because late 90s kids I can relate to. Yeah, more than I can relate to. Like the early 2000 was like after 2004, I don't know what I don't know what. Yeah, not around other. Yeah. But like I know like a lot of like late 90s kids.

00;15;40;07 - 00;16;09;22
Unknown
I know exactly the things that they're experiencing because I experienced the two I had the opportunity to. But after like so it's like that that middle gray area. Yeah. Okay. So what are some silent struggles that you feel like your age group experiences but y'all don't really talk about? But maybe I'll talk about it with each other, maybe your friends, but like, we don't see it on social media or, like, y'all don't really tell your older you know, like, what do you think that looks like?

00;16;09;24 - 00;16;34;28
Unknown
I think that one of the most silent struggles that we deal with is the pressure of being accepted. Because a lot of times we are trying like we're trying to be accepted by the older generation, but also we're I feel like my generation is half and half because half of us are trying to be accepted and half of us really don't care.

00;16;35;05 - 00;17;03;05
Unknown
Like, so it's like that. And then a lot of like, we've been through a lot of trauma, like a lot that we don't talk about everybody. So it's like, what do you feel like that trauma stems from? Is it like trauma from school? Was it trauma from like like I feel like a lot of it is family trauma that the families don't know about.

00;17;03;07 - 00;17;38;22
Unknown
Like it's generational. Yeah. It's stuff that like, exactly like stuff that you wouldn't think would cause trauma. Customer. Like or my generation. So it's like it's, we have a lot of silent struggles, but I feel like it changes per person. Yeah. So but those are definitely the biggest that I've seen. What's something that you wish the older generation understood or something that you can like if you were able to go to the older generation.

00;17;38;22 - 00;18;02;01
Unknown
Right. And respect be out the way and everything, like what would be your message and what would be your takeaway? Like what would be in order for them to get you to understand what you just said? What do you think your message would be to the older generation? That is not the new Under the Sun? Yeah, like the everything that we're going through and that we're doing, it looks different than how it was done in the past.

00;18;02;06 - 00;18;22;19
Unknown
But it's literally the same thing. Yeah. And it's like I feel like a lot of the older generations kind of look down because it's like, oh, we are doing this and such a long, such a young age. But yeah, I was coked up, okay, let's talk about it. But and they didn't have social media. No. So what they did was they don't have no right.

00;18;22;21 - 00;18;43;16
Unknown
They don't care, but they love them while young and turnt. Girl. What's that call the freak? Me. Yeah. Like, did you see that? Like, whoa, I know all this back there with them finger waves, like, don't play, right. Y'all were booty short. Pretty short. Oh, they're like no no for sure. Yeah they don't they didn't take pictures of it.

00;18;43;19 - 00;19;10;14
Unknown
And like I guess now it's more publicized. Yeah. But if they had Instagram and TikTok and all that. Yeah. Literally. Right. So it's like y'all looking down in history, stuff that you used to do. And I definitely agree with that. So do you feel like as you're getting older. Right. I feel like there comes a time when you're coming to be a young woman, right where you do.

00;19;10;14 - 00;19;37;29
Unknown
You see, like any relationship shifting with family members or friends, like trying to find your voice and trying to be independent. Do you feel that, definitely with, a lot of my friends, because it's like like I said, I got saved and a lot of my friends before I got saved just they weren't saved and they were leading me to things that I was trying to leave behind.

00;19;38;02 - 00;20;01;22
Unknown
So there was definitely like a shift, in that aspect where it was like I was trying to still be with them, but not be with the. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like, I'm more aligned anymore. So it's like, I can be with you, but I don't. The activities you're doing and the way you're carrying yourself, I can no longer.

00;20;01;22 - 00;20;23;21
Unknown
Yeah. And it's like, I don't want to do the things that I want to do anymore. Yeah. So I don't work. Yeah. So that was definitely like one of the biggest shifts I've had. And do you feel like you're like, you think you're better now or like, I change different? Yeah, definitely. I can definitely see that. But it's like they don't show it.

00;20;23;21 - 00;20;49;14
Unknown
Like visibly. But you can tell and like the demeanor change that. It's like okay. So a lot of a lot of my friends that I had before, I don't really talk to now. Okay. Because I kind of know that that's where it kind of went. So you feel like you're kind of just like it was a natural, natural exit.

00;20;49;14 - 00;21;10;10
Unknown
Yeah. And it was like a line. Yeah. But those are still my people. And I still loved it. Yeah. It's like I just can't adjust. And I feel that I'm not on the same page anymore. So do you feel like as a 22 year old self right now, do you feel like you're living or do you feel like you're surviving?

00;21;10;13 - 00;21;38;00
Unknown
I feel I feel like that's more of a mindset thing, because I did at one point think that I was just surviving. But it's like once you realize that every moment is like, cherish ago, so but cherish it. Yeah. Like it kind of changes your perspective to I'm living because I'm not. I'm honestly doing less than I was.

00;21;38;00 - 00;21;59;19
Unknown
Yeah. Before. But now I feel like I'm actually enjoying life. Yeah. You're able to take moments and like I feel like I'm in the survival mode over death, constantly going, yeah, sometimes we clear our plate and we don't realize that it might not be to add more things. It's just to just be, to appreciate you where you are, right?

00;21;59;19 - 00;22;19;20
Unknown
Yeah. Like, I think that's a lot. When you talk about your 20s, I feel like people always think about like, what's the next move? What's next? I need to be here by 25. Yeah, I'm here by 30. I need to, but there's something about just being okay. And being where you are. And those expectations of I need to be here by then.

00;22;19;23 - 00;22;44;18
Unknown
It leaves room for disappointment because you're not going to get there, or you're going to start doing things that may not be aligned just to hit a mark. Yeah, that was not given that that was just you know what I mean? My and my last episode, I talked about me getting a divorce. And I feel like one of the main reasons why I got married was because I said I wanted to be married by 30.

00;22;44;21 - 00;23;07;01
Unknown
So I literally got married. So crazy. Yeah, I literally got married. My birthday is on October 22nd. I was 29 years old and I got married October 17th before I turned 30. Oh, you. Yeah. Use the term. What? Yeah, but look what I got me. Yeah, because the guy told me that I need to be married 30.

00;23;07;03 - 00;23;30;13
Unknown
But he use this, he uses it for my good. So it's just things like that that we really have to be careful, like. Yeah, I told you that. Right? Where did you get that idea from? Just pulled it straight out of your behind, for sure. Like so how do you define success for yourself? For me, it's just.

00;23;30;16 - 00;23;59;00
Unknown
For me, success is just going to look like me being happy where I am, regardless of where I am. Like, even if I'm not what successful norms are, it's just me being content where I am and just happy. Yeah, you know what I mean? So I'd rather be happy and poor than rich and sad, like, because a lot of these, a lot of these people that got the money and they're not happy at all.

00;23;59;02 - 00;24;15;24
Unknown
And when you get to a certain level and a certain status, I think that you're inside of staying on. Right. Like I want to be able to afford the next best thing. So what I have to do, yeah, keep on. And I feel like when you're just happy and regular, you can make the rules for yourself. Okay.

00;24;16;02 - 00;24;35;03
Unknown
Yeah. I'm not going to buy anybody else but my own. Nobody watching you. Not at all. I'm going to keep shopping on Shane okay okay. And Amazon okay. Yeah that's going to be it. And nobody's gonna talk about it. If they do I don't care. Oh well because that's what I'm gonna do. Got my outfit for cheap and I look cute.

00;24;35;06 - 00;24;58;29
Unknown
Okay. That's it. Yeah. Yes. That's it. So if you could ever write, we write the rules of being a young woman in your standards. What would that look like? Like if you could tell all young women, let's forget, but because that's really talk about it, right? Like on social media, like we're saying, you don't see I mean, I feel like we're saying we curate our social media to be what we like.

00;24;58;29 - 00;25;21;14
Unknown
But before that, what they push on our timeline and what's being given to people is not what we're talking about today. So we're talking about the BBL culture. We're talking about, looking a certain way. We're talking about the music industry kind of changing the way we think about ourselves as black women. We're being pushed into a certain image, right?

00;25;21;14 - 00;25;47;14
Unknown
Like, let's talk about it. So I think that when you look at that, how would you tell young women, like, you don't have to look at this like you don't have to go this route. How would you rewrite the rules for them? I would say like the number one is just be who you are. Like your body don't got to be see it don't.

00;25;47;16 - 00;26;04;17
Unknown
Because at the end of the day, like they talk about you for having the natural. Exactly. But look at your body dying. You're still talking about yourself, right? But it's like. And then all the surgery, that body gone deflate, girl, I think. I ain't going to lie. You going to sit the wrong way is going to be gone.

00;26;04;17 - 00;26;36;16
Unknown
Like, know for sure. Like, oh that that what is it. The silicone and bone and all that stuff is stiff. It don't shake through. And it's so sad because. Do you have anybody that you look up to right now and social media like media? Not really, because I, I realized long ago that I can look up to somebody and social media and they could be portraying one thing and be a whole other thing, you know, their life just like yours.

00;26;36;17 - 00;27;02;00
Unknown
Yeah, exactly. Or worse than like, everybody has secret lives regardless like Diddy. I ain't no, no know that. But we ain't nobody. We did not know about Eddie. Why did he know? And there was somebody somewhere looking up to Diddy. Okay. And it was a lot of people went up to know for sure. I think that is sad, right?

00;27;02;00 - 00;27;23;07
Unknown
Because I have a ten year old and she loves as a she's always loves as and I loves it. So that's how she got to love it. I used to like her first song that she, she I have a video. She's in the backseat like I mean and. I mean she was like two. But now Missy and says being so on one end.

00;27;23;07 - 00;27;50;00
Unknown
Right. Like I love no one says up to be, an idol, right? Yeah. No one signed up to be somebody, so. Oh look up. This is a now this is just living her life and doing what she feels like she needs to do for herself, for her body and for her comfort. So that's like one thing, but I'm almost a little sad for my daughter, because she's seeing her starting to, like, change her body and kind of like, since it was such a natural.

00;27;50;00 - 00;28;13;06
Unknown
Yeah, she was, and she was, like, brown skin. And she was beautiful, beautiful. Had the broad nose, the big lips were like the key. She still has, like the kinky, hair. But now I'm starting to see, like, she's doing lip fillers and she's, like, messing with her face and the bubbles, and I'm just like, I wonder what that does for a younger generation.

00;28;13;09 - 00;28;40;06
Unknown
And that's just some things I think about. So I hope that she will be like you at 22 to be like, okay, I don't have to look for these people on social media. I don't have to, like, I want to be myself and I can, like, make my own self. Yeah, and self-worth and all those things. So because it was a point where when I was younger, I followed, like all the female artists and in, in the industry.

00;28;40;09 - 00;29;03;01
Unknown
But then I realized, like, and I thought, I thought that like, the all the body shapes was natural. And then I realized I was like, look how that's like copy paste. Yeah. Every time. And they all have the same shape and it's like, okay. And then glow really came along. I was okay, like, okay. I think it was.

00;29;03;02 - 00;29;37;24
Unknown
Yeah, a little thing. Okay, I got you. No, but it's like. It's just like, why? Like why you already have your natural beauty. And a lot of them, their bodies were before they even got in the media, in, in the BBL, just like. Yeah. Why like you do that. And I think that that's like where a lot of young women need to understand, like, you could get a BBL is gonna look crazy regardless.

00;29;37;24 - 00;29;57;29
Unknown
It's gonna look fake. Like just it's just it's just not watching. Yeah. And what's, what's really interesting too, is I feel like every person who does it like says, it just came out recently and said that she regrets. And I feel like they all have that moment. And like I heard someone say that before them, like, go get it themselves.

00;29;58;00 - 00;30;16;22
Unknown
And they have to be like, no, I regret doing that. It's like, it's weird, but my body's have to say, yeah, complications. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's just so crazy that we have to, like, go through things our selves to, like, see it for ourselves. And it's like a lot of people, they promote it as like, oh, yeah, y'all go do this.

00;30;16;22 - 00;30;36;21
Unknown
But they're not talking about what's going on behind the see the complications. That's how much it hurts. Yeah. What they can't do. Your body just never know. It's like that's one of the things I hear. Like your body is just like never the same. So do you have any advice you want to give to someone who is your age, not your twin?

00;30;36;21 - 00;30;59;20
Unknown
Don't you be someone younger, right? Because I always say, pass the torch down. So maybe someone who's younger than you, who can't wait to be 20 and, you know, just give them like this real relatable advice. Your 20s is not going to look nothing how you imagined it is. It's going to be completely different no matter what you do, to try to set it up to look a certain way.

00;30;59;20 - 00;31;23;13
Unknown
It's not going to look that way. And it's like, don't be disappointed when it doesn't look like that, because at the end of the day that they got it. So it's your journey. Exactly. It's your path. You shouldn't be curating it to look like someone else's. Don't have there's no comparison. Yeah. Don't get caught up in that.

00;31;23;13 - 00;31;43;18
Unknown
And really just figure out your own path, your own journey, and figure out what that looks like. Get caught up in that. Like, yeah, figuring out what it's going to be for you. Okay. What do I like? What are my hobbies? What brings me joy? Yeah. What don't I like and really, you know, find your way through that path because that that comparison.

00;31;43;21 - 00;32;02;07
Unknown
You could be trying to live up to how somebody else is living. Living. And you don't even realize that behind the screens and behind the the cameras, they set up this whole pretty thing and they room to, oh, get ready for me. And then on the other side of the camera, what does it look like? Yeah, it's in shambles.

00;32;02;12 - 00;32;22;16
Unknown
Is that. That's all I see now. Y'all don't even know who we're at, right? Yeah, I have no clue. I have no clue where anything outside of this frame looks like. Exactly. And they have it. It's like they could be getting beat behind the scenes and you're like kind of idolized, like. Yeah. And and that happens a lot.

00;32;22;16 - 00;32;41;23
Unknown
I think that and that's how people are so shocked. Right? When we had this idea of the celebrity. And it comes out and it comes out and I know that everybody's I go off go of goals. I know it well. No funny. The other day I burst out laughing. I had an older client, she I think it's about like in her 50s or whatever.

00;32;41;23 - 00;33;08;15
Unknown
And she was talking about, Remy Ma and PAP Pappas. Yeah. Is she she wasn't meaning to be funny, but she was like, do you remember what happens? I don't just get a divorce. And I got another, girl and blah, blah, blah. And I was like, yeah, that happened. And then she, like, took a moment and it was like 30s of like, she was like, so much for black love that I know that.

00;33;08;15 - 00;33;30;08
Unknown
They were like, yeah, headlines for black man. Yeah, I was it was just so funny how she thought about it. Like in her mind that was her like black love. Like that's what they represent. And now she's like, so now what? Like right. What represents black love? I'm like, girl, you were your husband. Well, like, you don't need my mom.

00;33;30;08 - 00;33;51;25
Unknown
You don't need to tailor her, man. No, I'm like like because I used to love them. I was like, oh, you're so cute. No, no. And then. And then look at, who is it? I think is, queen of Ray and Trippie Redd? I think it was. Oh, see, that's. Yeah. Every. Yeah. I did not look up to them at all.

00;33;51;28 - 00;34;15;11
Unknown
But everybody was like, oh I need, I need, I need this what I need da duh. He cheated on that girl. They're real bad. Like I don't need that. Oh yeah, I need to. And but I also too, I feel like on the other side of that, imagine the pressure that they had. Yeah. To be this couple other people and to be this representation.

00;34;15;16 - 00;34;32;07
Unknown
So when they're going through it, they're probably like, can't even talk about it. Now, I know Cardi B be wanting to take her man back. Yeah. Everybody in her business regular because so many regular people take. Yeah, I'll take your man back and do not break up with him when if I come back on a Wednesday night.

00;34;32;07 - 00;34;52;19
Unknown
Okay. Everybody comments Tuesday morning. Yes. We believe. Do you. I thought this is the last as you're laying next to the one that you'd. Okay that morning. Okay, okay. Let's go. That man to get out on Tuesday morning. He was back by 12:00. You packed his stuff on Tuesday. Burnt his clothes exactly the window. And I got going shopping on Wednesday for him.

00;34;52;19 - 00;35;13;12
Unknown
So much stuff. You pay for it. You're paying for to leave Cardi and him alone. Okay, I'll be doing that stuff. Please. In their privacy. Okay? You just don't post in the day. You don't have no alone. Okay. But thank you so much for coming through and chatting with me. And I might see her again, and I'll bring people back, you know?

00;35;13;12 - 00;35;37;11
Unknown
So. And I'll do it. I'll be. I'll do it, and I'll do it again and do it again. And she got to get her journal. So next time you're going to talk about the journal, have a journal is yes. We're going to. Yeah. But thank you so much for tuning into another episode of The Real Joy. Please like, comment and subscribe if you're watching this on YouTube, if you're on Apple Podcast, that service, whatever that is.

00;35;37;11 - 00;35;45;19
Unknown
Yep. Apple podcast you can like and subscribe on there too. You can like and subscribe no matter where you're watching. So I will see you next time.